The Day of Fulfillment Arrives

Today I looked up my flight reservation and it said "2 days until check-in."  I remember when it said 65.  Two.  Days.  I don't think I've had this many butterflies in my stomach for Christmas since I was a kid.  And in all my adult years of hoping to re-create that childhood feeling of Christmas anticipation by receiving the greatest Christmas surprise or amazing present, how dreadfully obvious it is now that what would bring back that anticipation was just going home.  Being with loved ones.

And as I think about how excited I am to be reunited with my family, I think of the soldiers here who have been out for 9, 12, 18 months, most with a spouse and children. 

Last night I spoke to one of General Austin's aides and he talked about spending the last 15 months in Iraq with only one home leave for 18 days.  He has 4 kids and a wife waiting on him at home.  He told me that a couple nights ago he spoke to  his 7 year old son who anxiously reported that he had dug up his dad's baseball mitt in the garage and placed it next to his on his bedside table.  He told his dad that he would be counting down the days for a long awaited game of catch.   His dad asked him if it would be warm enough.  It didn't matter.   I can only imagine the joyful celebrations that will take place in so many homes across the country this Christmas season. 

Today is the day the soldiers leave.  And as I think about the 7 year old waiting at home with two mitts by his bed, it is with mixed emotions that I think about their leaving.  I'm so glad they are going home at last.  I'm also terrified they are leaving.  And I wonder how accurate all the media hype is and what is going to happen to this country - it appears to be on the brink of disaster.

I'm not the only one with mixed emotions.  I sense it when I talk to General Austin or hear an interview by General Helmick.  I hear stories from the troops I've met that illustrate all the mixed feelings they have about leaving.  They are excited to leave and to go home.  They are nervous about what will happen here.  And they want to feel like they've done their job and that they aren't walking out leaving it unfinished.  Like anyone, they want to take pride in a job well done.

It's a historic day.  Today is the day that they case (or retire) the USF-I flag in a ceremony symbolizing the full departure of the military from Iraq.  I feel surprisingly emotional and (less surprisingly) patriotic.  I would never have imagined being in Iraq to see the end of this war.  I never paid much attention to the war after the first couple of years - it simply wasn't a part of my daily life for better or worse.  But now I find myself in the middle of it.  And there is a part of me that will be proud to tell my imaginary children one day - I was there when the last soldier left Iraq.  I witnessed the end of a war from the front row.

And I hope that I won't tell them:  and I was there when they returned 3 months later.

Here's a link from the Today Show that shows some of the footage from the ceremony we shot in the morning.

Grateful for Chocolate

In the continuing spirit of emotion and gratitude, I'd like to share a story from an awards ceremony we held yesterday.

In the embassy here we have a unique partnership with the military.  Often State Department and Department of Defense (and any govenrment agency) are at odds.  Here the Commanding General and the Ambassador have a spirit of cooperation that trickles down through all of the embassy.  That spirit of partnership is found in the T.V. studio where I work with the military public affairs team closely.  Particularly with my trainer Seargent Buenavista.  First, a little context.

General Buchannan, who is the spokesperson for the military here, agreed to let Seargent Buenavista extend for 3 months to teach me how to run the televison studio.  Sgt. B has gone above and beyond in doing that.  He has been an invaluable resource.

Originally from the Phillipines, he came to the U.S. as a kid, got his citizenship and at 18 joined the reserve forces of the military.  He has served in Iraq for 3 separate tours. 

Sgt. B has the most amazing attitude.  He is always smiling, he says yes to solving every and any problem and he has had infinite patience in teaching a novice like me the ropes.  He made a challenging and at times painful process positive and pleasant.  He is the kind of person who literally is lit from within - the kind of person you want to photograph or see on film because of that light.

Yesterday the State Department had an awards ceremony to thank the J-9 team (military public affairs headed up by Gen Buchannan) for all they did to help Public Affairs - my group.  They gave certificates to the whole team, but they ordered a special merit award for Sgt. B to thank him for his over the top commitment and service.

There were two moments during this event that especially touched me.  The first was when they gave General Buchannan his certificate.  He said a few words and talked about how important our partnership has been.  He mentioned how uncommoon it is for the military and the DoS to work together so well.  He expressed gratitude for it, and I felt my heart fill with gratitude too.  This is the point where my eyes started welling up as I thought about all of them leaving.  Largely because I would miss them and because for the first time I've seen the military up close and have truly gained an appreciation for the service and sacrifice they render.  However when I was caught crying, I said that it was because the military was leaving me here alone to die!

Gen Buchannan also talked about the sacrifice that the DoS employees are making to be here.  Leaving families behind, risking their lives for the main purpose of doing outreach to the communities and helping to re-build them.  Teaching English, creating educational opportunities, etc..  He said that he realized after being here that we deserve the same kind of recognition that they get, but that while the military is easily recognizable in public places like airports and gets thank yous, we don't.  He expressed his simple gratitude to us for our sacrifice and it was touching.

(Ted Koeppel was here a month ago filming, and this excerpt from one of his shoots shows two of the women in our public affairs department.  I think you can see by their experience, exactly the challenges the General mentions.  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/45641261#45648913.  Their segment is towards the end.)

After the General sat down, they presented the special award for Sgt B.  By the time he got up there the tears were just flowing freely (and attracting some attention - I did reign in the loud sobbing noises) as I realized how grateful I was for him and his help and how much I would miss him. 

His words touched me and continued to emphasize for me the gratitude theme I keep bumping in to here - and in this holiday season.   I can't do them justice, or the passion with which he spoke them justice, but I'll try to recap the general meaning of what he said. 

He told us that for him everything started with a bar of chocolate.  That when he was 7 years old in the Phillipines a U.S. soldier reached out to him and offered him a bar of chocolate.  He was so happy for the chocolate and so impressed and touched by the soldier who would have chocolate and give it away that he decided he would one day be a U.S. soldier.  (A lofty dream for a kid who wasn't even a U.S. citizen - and it's no easy feat getting Visas from there!)  He didn't go in to the details of how it happened, but he did express great pride in the fact that he was standing there in a U.S. army uniform and representing a country he loved and was proud to be a part of.  A country that held a dream for him of a better life.  He said it's all about connections and he got quite emotional.  The soldier connected with him and that's all he wanted to do too-- build connections and help others.  He has.

I was overwhelmed by gratitude for his generous spirit, for his positive attitude in facing many life challenges to get where he is today and for HIS gratitude for a country that gave him opportunities - and how he gave back to that country.  Again I am reminded (and someone must really want me to get this!) by how blessed I am.  How important it is to be grateful for what I have and to find ways to give back.  I am inspired by positive people who face trials head on and lift others as they go.

The Weary World

Yesterday I met up with James for a few minutes in the afternoon and was surprised when he told me, "I cried today."

I'm not surprised that James cries, I have seen that in action - trust me, and crying at work isn't surprising, I personally try to do it at least once a quarter just to keep things fresh.  I was surprised that James had cried at work because even with all the stress and occasional problems that pop up, this was a first.  And you know, only women cry at work - it's a man's worst nightmare.

He told me a story about his morning at the Visa window.  James works with special visa cases - people who worked for the U.S. army, or helped the government in some way and now want or need to move to the States to be safe.  Some groups here don't like it so much when you help the U.S. if you catch my drift.

Each morning he interviews these applicants, and most have compelling and/or touching stories, but yesterday was especially heart-wrenching.  Here is the story in James' words:

Yesterday we had a number of special immigrant visa applicants who had to return to the Embassy to have their fingerprints taken again because there was a glitch in the system.   A gentleman stepped up to the window to have his fingerprints taken.  Many of the applicants plead with me and ask me to please speed up their case somehow; this man simply explained that he and all of his brothers had worked with the US military, and he lay recommendations and expired IDs on the counter in front of me.  

After I took his prints I asked if his daughter were there who also needed to have her prints taken.  He quietly explained that she had been kidnapped and probably killed, and he indicated that we should remove her name from the petition.
 
I hear stories that are similar to his everyday, but yesterday as I looked at this father, I was overwhelmed.  I thanked him for his time and excused him to sit down, and had to excuse myself from the window and go to my desk where I put my head in my hands and cried.

This is the reality of Iraq.  We live sheltered in our little compound here and don't see much of the "real world" with the odd rocket or gunfire warning reminding us of where we are.  But occasionally we read or hear stories that remind us that the people here are suffering in ways that we simply haven't experienced.

Most of us in the U.S. don't have to worry if we step outside of our house that someone is waiting to intentionally kidnap us or our children.  We don't have to worry that our house could be hit by a rocket, or that an IED would explode as we drive down the street.  We don't have a member of our family who has lost a limb because they were caught in the line of fire, and we aren't trying to seek asylum in a different country where we don't understand the language or culture just so that we will be safe and our children won't be kidnapped and killed.

It is sobering to consider the daily life of the average Iraqi (and many others in different countries) and as Christmas nears, I am particularly grateful to live in a free country where I feel generally safe, and where I have a voice that can be heard, and that even in a down economy offers so much more bounty and opportunity than people here will ever see.

Pardon me while I wax spiritual, but my heart aches for a man who lost his little girl and it is simultaneously full because I know that when we feel that level of pain, there is only one balm that can begin to heal us.  The words of the song O Holy Night are especially poignant to me here in Baghdad.  And as the birth of Jesus Christ nears, I am grateful for the hope He offers me in a weary world.  No matter what you believe, or who you worship, may you find peace on earth and in your heart and may we all help each other to "feel our worth" and to stop oppression. 

Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. 

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.

 

What lies ahead

The word on the street:

COM personnel are advised that at this time we are facing severe threats of kidnappings or other attacks against American Citizens, particularly USG employees.  These include threats against both International Zone and Red Zone travel. 

It's been in the news lately too, so you may have read it about. We didn't move around much to begin with, but I find it a bit unnerving that we can no longer walk across the street or go to a store in the green zone for flour. 

Baghdad 2012 - the new frontier.

GOP: When did Thinking go out of Fashion?

One of our chief forms of entertainment over here in Iraq has been watching the circus otherwise known as
the GOP.  Our biggest regret:  The debates are too late for us to watch.  Our biggest thrill:  SNL recaps on them.

My personal favorite was clearly the SNL take on Perry's "oops" moment.  Wow.  And it has certainly been a toss up for the last several months over who is going to say THE dumbest thing on TV or to the press today: Cain or Perry?  It's so delicious - a bigger guilty pleasure than People and US Weekly combined.   My greatest wish was that Sarah Pallin would be in the race so that Tina Fey would return.

(bonus: Link to John Stewart's take on the oops moment.)

In all the entertainment and spectacle, there is a nagging concern.  Yes, one thing troubles me.  The fact that GOP voters would find any, and I mean any acceptable candidate over Romney.  I understand why - people can't connect to him emotionally.  He is stiff and cool and lacks any appearance of human warmth.  It's hard to rally around a person with low to zero charisma.  I also understand that some in the religious right would rather vote for Hitler than a Mormon.  Fine.  But when you look at the opposition, isn't that rather shocking?

Two points that bother me:

1.  Cain was kicked out of the race for being a POSSIBLE (probable) adulterer and sexual harasser.  I think the guy is an idiot and am just as happy he's gone (except for the future SNL shows he's ruining for me) but I find it ironic that he is being kicked out on moral grounds and so the front runner becomes Gingrich.  A moral black hole.  Several affairs and wives later we find our moral compass and replacement for Cain.  Does anyone else see irony?
Note of interest: Romney is a family man, one wife, no tawdry affairs, generally moral and upstanding, but rejected.

Leading to point number 2.

2.  Romney flip flops.  Pause.  Think.
AND GINGRICH DOESN'T??  I don't care if you vote for Romney, Gingrich, or Obama, but please use some logic.  You can't put one candidate over another when he does the same thing.  Vote for Ron Paul if this is your argument, he doesn't flip flop, and while he also is largely not Republican at least I would get the logic in your choice.  Use your noggins GOP.  For the love.

And another thought on flip-flopping...so what?  Who CARES?  Every politician has changed his or her mind at some point.  Every HUMAN has changed their mind.  And in the case of Romney, here's how I see it:  He voted liberal when he represented liberals in a liberal state.  He is now voting conservative and looking to represent conservatives in the nation.  Isn't that his J.O.B.?  To not vote for his own opinion, but for that of We the People who he represents?  Shouldn't we be grateful he is open and flexible and will represent the voters who elect him? 
(And fyi:  Obama is like this and crosses lines and it's why I voted for him in the last election.)

One more thought.  Isn't this election about our failed economy?  Really, isn't it?  Hm.

Excuse the rant, but please.  I'm not political, but I am annoyed by stupidity.
God gave us our brains, shouldn't we use 'em?  If you can make a good case for any other candidate and why they are better, I'm all ears.  Not why Romney is worse, mind you, why THEY are better.  Because this campaign seems to be all about why people can't pick Romney instead of focusing on why they are picking anyone else.  And close scrutiny on any candidate other than him has only lead to one implosion after another.  

I don't care if you vote Democrat or Republican,  but I do care that you pick a GOP candidate that makes any sense at all.  Just try to stop making Republicans look so bad.  I don't want to be embarrassed if
I decide to vote that way.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

...Christmas.


In Baghdad. (black square covering top secret thing not allowed in pictures...oooohhh.)

Which isn't saying much, but I was happy to see a little bit of the holiday spirit show its face in the Middle East.  With 65 degree days and blue skies, tan buildings, and the daily calls to prayer it hasn't felt much like Thanksgiving or Christmas. 

A week or so ago my spirits lifted when I saw some employees walking down the street with giant snowflakes of light. 

It isn't much, but it's enough to put me in the holiday spirit and to start thinking about the fact that in T minus 15 days we'll be winging our way home to some real holiday spirit.

I'll try to ignore the fact that the secret service guy told me he'd be praying for my safety. :)

Desperately Seeking Shauri

 I looked at my blog stats today to see if anyone was reading it.  One of the stats they give you are search terms that people use to locate your blog.  This one cracked me up:

shauri quinn blog die

So many directions to go with this.  I'd like to hear yours.

Visits Cloaked in Darkness

This week the embassy got a bit chaotic as we prepared for a super secret visit from Vice President Joe Biden.  We weren't allowed to speak his name until the moment he arrived so there was a really interesting array of code words used to talk about and plan for this visit.  Of course the complete irony of all our secrecy is that the Iraqi press was printing stories the week before he came about his upcoming visit. 

I was assigned the job of "minder" for the NBC crew and Ann Curry.  My favorite line from all of her shoots here was to VP Biden when she asked him about the administration's claim that the country was "normalizing" and when it would be normalized enough that his visits could stop being "cloaked in secrecy and darkness."  Poetic.  And apt for the visit of the VIP who could not be named.

I really enjoyed spending time with the guys crewing NBC, as well as Ann and her producer Zoe.  I think Ann is a clever, high energy, driven, professional and kind person.  What I didn't enjoy so much was the 2:30 am live feeds for Nightline and the set ups that started at 11:30pm in 30 degree weather. 

I did get to stand in for Ann during set up and get a small glimpse of how it would feel to be a reporter for CNN.  I had the IFB in my ear and got to count down with NBC in New York to make sure the timing wasn't too delayed.  I'm pretty sure I counted so well and looked so hot at 2am in my 12 layers of James' clothing, that they were ready to ask me to stay and Ann to go.  Just see that sexy hat and red nose.

To see Ann's version of this shot you can click on this link.  Also, you'll get a glimpse of the DFAC where we eat during her walk and talk.

I think the highlight of the week was meeting Biden.  On  Thursday morning we set up for an interview for the Today Show in the Ambassador's residence.  Ann had 15 minutes with him and I was really impressed with the way he answered/handled her questions.  I was especially touched when he started to cry at the end as he spoke about the fallen soldiers and his son Bo who is in the military and served in Iraq.

See interview here: Today Show Link.

As soon as the interview finished the secret service was rushing everyone out of the residence.  I thought VP Biden was gone as well.  I went in to the living room and chatted with the NBC crew as they packed up.  One of the SS guys came by and I started talking with him in the door to the living room when I saw Biden enter the foyer.  Turns out the VIPs were waiting until the press left in their convoy and then following behind. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Biden notice us in the doorway, pass the Ambassador and General Austin, and wander over.  He said hello to Dave and I, and wandered in.  I told him that I was very impressed with his interview and touched.  He commented that he was embarrassed for getting so emotional.  I countered that it was the emotion he showed that most impacted me and allowed me to feel his authenticity.  He seemed to be happy about that and then he spent the next 10 minutes telling me and the 4 guys from the NBC crew stories about soldiers he met in Iraq and Afghanistan and some really touching moments with them. 

At one point he was telling a story about a night hike with some soldiers and to illustrate what happened he grabbed me by the arm and then started pushing me from behind up an imaginary hill.  It took me by surprise, but I did tell him I like to move at my own pace when hiking.

I found him to be engaging, authentic and sincere.  I can see now why the face to face meetings are so important on the campaign trail.  I don't think I would have ever considered voting for Biden himself (and I did vote for the Obama/Biden ticket) but after getting to know him on a more personal level he became a real person to me that I like.  And the interesting thing is, that without knowing anything about his politics (well very little) he became a front runner for me just because I like him. 

After very little sleep for two nights in a row, James found me on the couch at 6pm when he got home from work in a sleep drugged state.  Slurring my words and unable to fully open my eyes.  Yes, I am old....and ready for a long winters nap.