TSA: What are they really looking for?

James and I packed up our life in D.C., moved out, and headed out west.  First stop would be our wedding reception in Boise and then a week on the Oregon Coast for his family vacation.

At the airport, we did what all good Americans must do and that is strip down, take all laptops and liquids out and allow the TSA to screen you for dangerous weapons. 

My apologies to the TSA, but I find them ineffective at best.  A "friend" of mine who used to travel every week told me that she never once removed her liquids and was never...EVER stopped.  I can vouch for this friend as she is the most honest, smart and beautiful person I know. 

So let me say that this friend happened to be in front of James in the security line and once again she went all the way through the screening without once being asked about her shampoo, makeup, or moisturizer.  Athough the nice lady at the T.V. did comment on her awesome jewelry. 

Meanwhile, James comes innocently behind with all liquids removed when the TV lady barks at him, "What's in this bag?  I see something liquid.  Is it a jam or a jelly of some kind sir?"

James thinks about it.  And then he smiles and looks her in the eye and says clearly, "No.  It's lube."

She looks at him blankly and says, "Huh?"  I think she was processing.

He says, "For sex."

I'm dying laughing and then the lady loses it.  She's all embarrassed, but she's already called an officer over to look at it.  When the officer comes over and inquires what she is looking for the TV lady can't even answer.  She can NOT say the word lube.  James was forced to say it again.

I think this:  TSA is not screening for dangerous weapons or liquids that could be potential threats.  This is the first time we have been asked about anything liquid in our bags, so this I know.  They are either looking for jam (hungry) OR they are looking for lube.  And when they find it, trust James...they confiscate it.  And the country remains a safer (though less satisfied) place.