Crash + Bang (or How to be an Objectively Reasonable Person)

I cried at the shooting range.  Not one or two tears- heaving, gasping sobs through 4 of the 6 stations.

Yes, I know it's dumb.  Yes, everyone else there was laughing, chatting, and super psyched to be able to handle AK-47's and M-4s and Glocks.  And yes, at one post while shooting the AK-47 the instructor did cut my lesson short when he noticed I was blinded by tears and I couldn't wipe them through the protective goggles to say, "Um, I think you have a good understanding of this one.  Why don't you go ahead and move along."

In my defense, I'm a little stressed and they spent 4 days freaking me out before sending me to a shooting range with terrorist weapons.

A quick recap of our Crash and Bang training week:

Day 1 and 2 - Surveillance.
Highlights - Don't look out windows, don't trust anyone - especially people talking on cell phones on the street.  Always change your route when driving and watch your rear view mirror.  If an old man crosses the street and bends over to pick something up in front of your car it's probably a sign to people who are about to put you in a blockade and blow you up. 

Day 3 - Medical
Highlights - You can get a hole in your chest that starts breathing and will cause you to die if it isn't blocked, If you don't put a tourniquet on a bleeder you can die in 1-6 minutes.  Tourniquets won't force your wounded limb to be amputated unless you keep it on for more than 4-6 hours.  Full body armor is heavy.  Very heavy.  I guess that's because it is sheets of metal.  But come on technology.  If you are dead when medical help arrives, or you appear to be dead they will just put a taped X on your chest and move on.

Day 4 - High Speed Chases
Highlights:  You can ram a car out of your way most effectively at the speed of 10-15 miles per hour.  If someone is stopped on the side of a road do not stop to help them - in fact, speed up or they will shoot you.  If the driver dies while driving you can climb out of your seat and in to their lap and take over driving for a while until you are out of danger.  I suck at reversing at high speeds around curvy roads.  Ambulances on bridges may be decoys that signal other terrorists that you are about to pass.  Seriously.

Day 5 - "Deadly Force"
That was the actual name of the training where they taught us about guns and bombs, and they told us to read a legal document that basically says "The use of deadly force must be objectively reasonable."

I ask you, if you are about to use deadly force, DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE THE TIME TO STOP AND BE OBJECTIVELY REASONABLE???

And that brings us to the shooting range and the complete emotional breakdown.  In my mind, that was the first thing I did that week that was objectively reasonable at all.