Baa Bye Ba'athist.

 I don't know how closely you all follow Iraq shenanigans, but recently there was a little drama over a government decision to round up some wild and crazy "Ba'athists."  Lest you think that is someone saying Baptist with a lisp, it is NOT.  I may or may not have thought that before I learned it was the party Sadaam Hussein belonged to.  Apparently, that wasn't on E News.

Anywho, it was a little, how you say, scary and big brother-ish the way the government suddenly started a roundup and people weren't happy.  There was some protesting in the streets and some angry mobs who somehow didn't think it was very democratic and neighborly to just bust up in people's houses and take them because of their religion or political preferences.  Crazy.

There was a news bulletin that came across my computer screen a few days back with bullets from a talk given by Prime Minister Maliki to soothe some nerves.  I'm not sure if that worked, but I will say I find some of these bullets amusing....if I'm honest, more because of the way they are written and because everytime I read Ba'ath or Ba'athist I say it in my head like a sheep would.  Whatcha think?  I'll put in parenthesis the thoughts I had as I read this.  Lucky. You.

Ba’athist Plot: (Assumption:  there IS in fact a Ba'athist plot)

• We detained 615 Ba’athists so far.

• The Ba’ath party is politically banned by the Constitution.  (Can you do that??Let's ban the tea party!  We the people believe...)

• We are not indiscriminately arresting Ba’athists.  We have retained a number of former Ba’athists who gave up their “bad Ba’ath ideologies” and are still occupying very sensitive position in the government. There is a difference between those “good” Ba’athists and other Saddamist Ba’athists who are plotting against the country by collaborating with al-Qaida and conducting bombings and assassinations.  (This is the best one...goooood ba'athist...baaaaadddd Ba'athist.  Rooststers, you know what I'm talking about.  They gave up their "bad Ba'athist ideologies??"  awesome.)

• Some of these “Saddamist Ba’athists” are plotting a coup, thinking there will be a security void after the withdrawal of U.S. forces, but they are mistaken as we [the GOI] are already responsible for security even with the presence of U.S. troops.  (uh-huh, big mistake to think the GOI can't handle security, I mean they've only had their security bombed and killed like every day last week by terrorists.  Yeah, they got this one.)

• The detentions have no relation with sectarianism, it is the Ba’athists who believe and think in a sectarian way.  (It's YOU, not me.)

•  There is no harm if we tighten the grip on all political, security and economic situations in accordance with the Constitution.  (It's a slippery slope Sada...um, Maliki.  Just a LITTLE tightening can't hurt.)

• There are some countries that support Ba’athists, but I will [wait] and disclose their names in the “proper time.”  (OK, wait THIS one is the best--is this third grade?  i will wait and disclose their names at the proper time??? when? when?  who could these countries be--no ONE knows.....ira..no one.)