I dream of R&R

Several posts ago I mentioned that I was looking forward to our next R&R, and several people have asked where James and I are going.   Let's say this, we were hoping for a longer honeymoon, so we always planned to make this our honeymoon part deux.  And we're doing it up right!  We're going two places.   Let me show you the first...

Hello beautiful Maldives.  I'd tell you not to be jealous, but it's not what I want.  Be very, very jealous because it is ah-mazing.  Baghdad does have it's rewards.  And so does Hilton.  I highly encourage all of you to sign up now if you haven't because you can use your points to go to this paradise!  Also big thanks to Gina Valenti for giving us Hilton certificates for our wedding...We LOVE you!!!  And we love Hilton.

On the less happy and shiny side of things, we did find out the exact day we got our flights booked that the Maldives had a coup and their President resigned.  Political turmoil reigns, but hey...I'm in Baghdad, think a little turmoil and unrest can keep me from that water villa?  Doubt it.  People are shooting guns here too.  At least there I'll listen to them whilst snorkeling or looking through the glass bottom of our bungalow at fish swimming by.  Bliss.

Part two.  And then we are on to....

 Yes, Bali.  James hasn't been and it's not too far from the Maldives.  This picture is a renovated Rice Barn that we are renting in Ubud for our first few nights - isn't all storybook picturesque and amazing? The answer is simple - yes.

 We'll get our surf on, visit some temples, plenty of 10 dollar massages and cooking class and relaxation.  Bring it on!

So there you have it.  R&R #2.  We are counting down the days and we may not return to Baghdad.  In the meantime, of course we heart Baghdad 100%.

(and in the spirit of hearting Baghdad, let me mention that James wore his Christmas gift from Lisa to Ultimate a few weeks ago - an I Heart Iraq t-shirt - and got widespread acclaim.  So he did find a place to wear it after all.)

Huey, Deweys, no Louie

For those of you not as uber cool as those of us who live in a war zone, a Huey is a helo or helicopter.  I did not know this, but when James kept talking about the huey, shortly after riding in a helicopter, I used my amazing powers of deduction and figured out he meant the helicopter.

Due to the critical threat we have been facing here in Baghdad, we are no longer allowed to take the armored vehicles to the airport.  Instead, we go to our landing pad, wait for 3-6 hours, climb in a helicopter and fly for 5 minutes to the airport.  It's a huge time suck and it made our 36 hour journey longer, but for James it was a dream come true. 

(Aside:  Here's why our journey is so long:  3 hours to get from home to airbase (4 miles), 6 hours to get from Baghdad air base to airport (100 yards), 4 hours to get from Baghdad airport to Kuwait airport (1 hour flight).  So 13 hours JUST getting to our jumping off point which is a one hour flight.  Nightmare.) 

Here are some pictures of us taking the helicopter on our way home.  These helicopters sat about 10-12 people and were pretty stable.  Note how happy James is.  Note how cool I am.

For our return to Baghdad we also took the "hueys", but because of our place in line we were selected with 3 other people to ride in a very tiny helicopter back to the Embassy while the others went in the 10 passenger ones.  Our helicopter sat 5 people, and flew with the door open, and a guy with a gun hanging out that door, and me sitting about two inches from, and facing that open door. 

James was thrilled.  I was less than thrilled in the pitch black, and in my jet-lagged state to re-enter Baghdad this way, but it did feel appropriate.  And it was lovely to see Baghdad from the air at night.  It seemed so much more peaceful and lovely.  Except for the guy next to me with the gun of course.   No pictures allowed on this trip.

Home sweet home.  It's odd to think of this place as home, but that's what it is for a year, and truthfully there was some sense of relief to be in a place where we weren't living out of a suitcase and we had our own space.  3 months down, 9 to go. 

Things is heatin' up

“You have a cut on your face.”  A man sat next to James and I on the plane with blood dripping down his cheek.  He was aware and informed us that he had another run-in with his razor while shaving.  Apparently it is also a technique he uses to frighten children in to eating their vegetables.  Don’t ask me to explain this strange technique; I am only a recorder of true facts. 

Turns out he is also on his way to Baghdad and has been on one of his 3 week R&Rs.  We asked him what it was like at the Embassy and he said, “Well, it’s sure gonna get interesting in January!”  Perfect. 

There was an article today on MSN about one of the extremist clerics who was calling for his people to stop attacking the U.S. Embassy.  Hooray!  Ah, but if you keep reading you learn that it is because he wants us to leave the country and he knows we won’t if the violence continues.  Fine.  Fair enough.  It’s the next statement that is chilling however.  “However, al-Sadr warned that "if the withdrawal doesn't happen ... the military operations will be resumed in a new and tougher way."

How exciting!  What perfect timing to plan an exciting holiday in Iraq. 

Our thirst for adventure will finally be sated as we get front row seats to the fireworks in this new and exciting chapter in our nation’s politics.

It was nice to hear our seatmate confirm that they are all expecting January to be as exciting as this cleric has promised.  Asalemu alequm Baghdad.

TSA: What are they really looking for?

James and I packed up our life in D.C., moved out, and headed out west.  First stop would be our wedding reception in Boise and then a week on the Oregon Coast for his family vacation.

At the airport, we did what all good Americans must do and that is strip down, take all laptops and liquids out and allow the TSA to screen you for dangerous weapons. 

My apologies to the TSA, but I find them ineffective at best.  A "friend" of mine who used to travel every week told me that she never once removed her liquids and was never...EVER stopped.  I can vouch for this friend as she is the most honest, smart and beautiful person I know. 

So let me say that this friend happened to be in front of James in the security line and once again she went all the way through the screening without once being asked about her shampoo, makeup, or moisturizer.  Athough the nice lady at the T.V. did comment on her awesome jewelry. 

Meanwhile, James comes innocently behind with all liquids removed when the TV lady barks at him, "What's in this bag?  I see something liquid.  Is it a jam or a jelly of some kind sir?"

James thinks about it.  And then he smiles and looks her in the eye and says clearly, "No.  It's lube."

She looks at him blankly and says, "Huh?"  I think she was processing.

He says, "For sex."

I'm dying laughing and then the lady loses it.  She's all embarrassed, but she's already called an officer over to look at it.  When the officer comes over and inquires what she is looking for the TV lady can't even answer.  She can NOT say the word lube.  James was forced to say it again.

I think this:  TSA is not screening for dangerous weapons or liquids that could be potential threats.  This is the first time we have been asked about anything liquid in our bags, so this I know.  They are either looking for jam (hungry) OR they are looking for lube.  And when they find it, trust James...they confiscate it.  And the country remains a safer (though less satisfied) place.